June 2008
13 posts
Does this sound like you?
Breakfast, in these days of pennies and pinching, was every meal. Steak was pricey, and in my anemic rants and phases he never suggested the red meat treatment. Chicken, tasted the same no matter what you put on it or in it. Breakfast: toast, eggs, bacon and milk, were supplements for the traditional home cooked dinner in the tiny apartment I call home.
As I packed my boxes full with everyday...
And this is how it goes.
You were here once. You were all here. Every part from the tips of your fingers to the bottom of your heels. And when the sun went down after dusk, you always left.
After years of sunlight days and lonesome nights without recognition of feeling, the unbearable weight of how this goes and goes came down in one foul swoop. With the timing of clockwork and against all bodily restraint words came,...
“Ryan fiddled with the rear-view mirror outside the passenger door. “You...”
– Douglas Coupland, Miss Wyoming, page 256
Knots and ties, and bows and stitch.
And you might find me here. But I won’t make any promises. Up the stairs and around the corner is where I lay. But which stairs and which corner. You might be searching forever.
You could follow the breeze and the lavender hints, but I promise you won’t make it. I don’t make promises.
So let me tell you. If I were you. I’d put me in the freezer, and save all your...
Too much. You're all too much.
I deserve more. I am better than this.
I am a certain person. I am a good fucking person. I have four good fucking jobs (mind the swearing)
I work my little tail off and quite frankly, it’s not easy. This isn’t a nine to five deal. It’s not steady, it’s not income. I am looking far into the future and planning for then and doing what I need to do now to get on the path...
TIW and Lee K are my favourite.
I realized yesterday the extent of how silly my life is sometimes. I don’t mean silly as in fun, or as not meaningful, but I mean it in the sense that sometimes, I think about the events of my life and just smile. Because some of them are simply silly.
Who else has a job where they can sit at a desk surrounded by beauty products and clothing racks, emailing Gucci to get a price check as...
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
I remember this day. This one particular day.
I love thats like that. A day with lows that make the highs so much better. A day where I started in the valley and ended on everest.
This is corny, I’ll stop.
But really. That was exactly what I needed. Saturday night 6am hangouts on the stoop is the right medicine to cure any bad day.
Next time you’re sitting at home, upset, with...
And I almost forgot.
I can see my reflection out of the corner of my eye in the long mirror to my right and I know this was the goal. But getting here feels empty and uneasy and under all the wrong circumstances.
I’m feeling uneasy and unsettled, and with all the busy in my life, the downtime left only encourages my wandering brain and my spinning thoughts. I’m waiting for the water to boil.
The whole...
Mind reader. Light filler.
I need a GPS for certain things.
My iPod. Cell Phone. Cigarettes. Lighter. Nail Clippers.
and sometimes, every so often, I need the specific and current location of what’s going on in your brain.
——————
On another note, waking up in a bed not my own. I’ll smile as you kiss my shoulders, and leave shortly after you. I come home to shower, make...
Three days worth of words.
So after a crazy weekend I found the time to simply sit, and be. Still.
“I’ve been drunk since thursday!”
This morning I woke up, sober and feeling the repercussions of the past weekends events. Not in the hangover sense. They say alcohol is a “depressant” and I never once believed it considering all the times I’ve had spent over even a single beer (and...
I helped you pack your bags.
I’m crouching on the surface digging to get in and as the dirt piles into the hole I’m digging trying to get in, and the dirt falls inward, and I’m digging into a hole as the seeds and leaves and atoms of dirt pile, but I’m still digging. I think in run ons lately. And I listen to songs on repeat. “When you come back it will already be the winter” And...
